And no, I'm not talking about the one which is tethered to my computer. I'm talking about a real life mouse, scurrying round the skirting boards of the theological library where I'm helping out as part-time librarian. I've only seen him (presuming it is a male) twice, and haven't as yet managed to excommunicate him, but it has sparked my thinking about how a mouse might be dealt with in a theological college:
The Arminian/Purpose Driven students have suggested that all in attendance at the college should pursue the mouse at all available times, using all available means. This may mean making the mouse very comfortable in his surroundings before hitting him with a shovel or other hard implement.
The Hyper-Calvinistic students have stated that the mouse will be caught at the appropriate and appointed time. They have been systematically removing all bait from the traps.
Because the mouse has not been seen for seven days the premillennial students are speculating that it may have been raptured.
A-millennial students have countered this by insisting that the mouse is not literal, and that in all significant respects it has already been caught.
Post-millenial students are happy with the arrival of the mouse, and feel that the situation might turn around quickly and unexpectedly.
Emerging church advocates among the student body have been wearing 'Mickey Mouse' tee-shirts all week, and disarming the traps. Apparently it is just a matter of opinion that mice breed disease.
Bono is currently writing a song about the plight of the mouse.